Nancy Wichmann

You know that little "beatific" smile that some people have, especially those who feel close to God? Well, it seems to be showing up on my face more often these days. Scary thought, huh?

Perhaps it is because, lately, God is showing me things almost every time I turn around. I had already noticed, starting somewhere around Easter (my favorite day anyway), that my spirits have been rising steadily, even while being sick and unemployed.

I found Steve on Facebook and invited him to connect. Steve was the minister at Harvard Avenue United Methodist Church when we started there, and is the minister who married us. I think he's responsible for igniting my study of the Bible, but let's not downplay the Holy Spirit.

A short time after the invitation, I got an email asking if I used to live in Oklahoma. I replied stating my old name. I didn't hear anything for over a day, so I was worried that the Methodist stance on the LGBT community had put him off.

Last weekend I was honored by the church with being the voting representative to the New England Synod Assembly. The assembly included to selection of a new bishop - a very interesting process.

I didn't write this, but it touched me, so I'm putting it here to remind me. This was written by the wonderfully wise and great-hearted Roman Catholic priest Henri Nouwen at the Harvard Divinity School.

I belong to several online groups that have asked people to not start discussions of a religious or political nature. I can see how such discussions could get out of hand and generate a lot of name-calling and bad feelings.

Last Sunday I posted on one of them: "Today, Nancy Elaine officially became a child of God. I was baptized."

For that, I was censured. Yet, in this same group I have seen numerous "naughty" words go unchallenged.

After a brief discussion on Judgment Day in church this morning, I thought I would write down my understanding of what that will be like.

The scene opens with God sitting on His throne and Jesus by His side. As I approach the throne, Jesus, knowing that I have accepted His sacrifice for me, comes down and stands between God and me. When God looks up, He says, "I see no sin in this person." Jesus has blocked God's view of me so that the Lord sees only Jesus.

Okay, great, at least my acceptance of Jesus has gotten me over the first hurdle.

Over a year ago I was involved in a protest, which brought on further protests from some far-right religious groups. One group was on our right, speaking with a megaphone while thumping on their Bible. Another group was across the street on the left singing hymns and doing a little preaching until the police told them their loud speakers broke the city noise ordinance.

For 55 years I tried to live the way others wanted me to and for most of my adult life I was on anti-depressants. Less than six months ago, I was literally within hours of ending my life. Now there are days that I am so frigging happy that it’s scary. Can this be that same girl?

I have been asked to do a presentation at my church for the Adult Forum (sort a free-form Sunday school). The TG 101 part is not hard because I’ve done that part before for other groups. The second part of the talk is supposed to be about how my gender journey and faith journey are inextricably intertwined. In my mind I knew they were but as I tried to write it down and make it coherent, I found it very difficult.

Suddenly today (Easter Sunday) God hit me over the head with a 2x4 (again). For me, it’s not a gender journey. I am simply becoming the woman God made me to be. My faith journey is simply unleashing what it is that I have always been.

“Let him who has ears hear.” It is obvious to me from the occurrences over the last two years that God doesn’t give us our “ears” all at once. Things that are in the Bible simply do not make sense or sink into our consciousness all at once.

The United Church of Christ (UCC) has a motto, “God still speaking.” But I swear that not only is He still speaking, but He is still writing the Bible. Verses and stories that are there today were not there a year ago. Why do I seem to be the only one who notices this?