Loneliness

Advent Feelings

At this time of the year, it is hard to find joy outside the coming of the Word Incarnate. It is all too easy to dwell on the pains of Christmas Past and focus on the loneliness of Christmas Present alone. So I suppose that it is some comfort that I realize that my growth in matters spiritual has been enhanced by that very loneliness.

In the monastic ideals, one devotes oneself to prayer and study of the scriptures, with a celibate lifestyle to aid those endeavors. For me, celibacy is not a choice; it simply is a fact of my life. Don’t get me wrong: in many ways I appreciate it. Certainly it gives me more time to study and pray – and fewer distractions from that.

Also in the monastic life, work is simply a means to provide for oneself and the community. I seem to have evolved into a similar pattern. I work, but look forward to coming home, where I often study. Prayer is a constant companion, even during work.

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