Why Me? - the age old question we all ask.

By Pamela Jones

Pamelas Place

Editor's Note: The references to Kappa Beta and The Pink Slip are to our Tri-Ess chapter and its newsletter, to which this was originally submitted.


Recently, on one of the TG online support groups, someone said she wished "this CD thing would just go away." She said it seemed there were only two choices in life, to be who we are and be lonely, or to live a lie.

I imagine everyone reading "The Pink Slip" has come to terms with who they are in one way or another, if only by virtue of joining Kappa Beta in search of support.

I also imagine each of us has, at one time in our lives, had the wish that it would "just go away." If I think back through the mists of time, I could find such times in my own life.

Of course, we all know it won't go away. Who we are is more than something we do. This "CD, TG, TS thing" is as much a part of who we are as is the color of our eyes.

Whether we are who we are by some random roll of the genetic dice, or by virtue of environmental factors, or even a combination of the two, does not ultimately matter. What does matter is that we can arrive at the point at which we view ourselves as blessed, or gifted. This is true irrespective of one's faith. Often we say we feel trapped. In truth, we can become the most liberated people one could imagine, if only we are delighted with the people we were created to be.

It then becomes reasonable to say there is a choice aside from being lonely, or living a lie. Logic says if this is truly who we are; this inherent trait can be brought to the highest and best use. It can take time to arrive at this point in life. It often takes years of compromise and introspection.

Many of us have had some hard times along our journey, some more difficult than others. Some people like to say time heals all things. I don't believe that. I do believe time changes people, perspectives, and situations. For me, I have more appreciation of the good times in life when I reflect on the difficult times and how far my journey has taken me.

It is said you can't pretend to be something you are not. This is true, but you also cannot pretend to not be something you are. I believe only when we achieve genuine acceptance of ourselves as unique individuals with unique gifts, that we can truly accept others as they are.

This brings us to the subject of giving back to the TG community and Kappa Beta. Each of us has certain abilities. Sometimes the most valuable ability can be that of being a good listener, or providing empathy to a new visitor. It can be as simple as posting to the various online Yahoo groups that are aimed at supporting those who are isolated or depressed, often both.

Indeed, life is a journey. When we can look in the mirror and truly like the person we see, the journey can become a lot more enjoyable and the ultimate goals infinitely more reachable.